Showing posts with label animation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label animation. Show all posts

Monday, August 6, 2012

Disney sucks mouse balls

I despise Disney. I know that sounds blasphemous to most every human on the planet, but I do. I will always give them credit for superb animation and art, but that's it. I find the whole huge multinational corporation and endless merchandising to be the perfect example of everything wrong with the entertainment industry. A small group of  unimaginative money grubbing businessmen rehashing worn out bullshit stories not for the sake of art, but for year end profits.

I remember back in the 1960's watching the "Wonderful World of Disney" every Sunday evening at about 7 pm. Back then the show was hosted by the creepy founder Walt himself. Some weeks it was a nature film about fun loving adventures of animals in the wild. What they would do is take a couple of bear cubs from a tranquilized mother bear (off camera) and let the cubs loose in the woods and follow them and film. The hapless cubs would fall into rivers, get sprayed by skunks,  get dropped onto a bee hive, and wrestle with a porcupine in the name of family entertainment.  Then for the humorous climax the producers would lock one cub in an abandoned cabin and film it tearing apart the place to find it's mother. When they got enough footage they would release the surviving cub and mother back into the wild.  Walt Disney was a cold hearted mother fucker.

Some of the better stories are the ones he bought up and animated, later years they were just stealing old fables that no one owned rights to and the Disney staff would warp into their own formulated tripe. What's with the constant theme of magic? You don't have to be a Southern Bible Thumper to have to ask why all of the occult bullshit? Magic crickets, magic brooms, genies, spells, witches.... what are you sickoes with instant access to children up to over there? Walt was a real prick to work for also. Supposedly he would make his employees punch out if they had to use the bathroom while at work, they weren't allowed to have facial hair but he could.  No wonder his animators went on strike in 1941. I would delight in playing kickball with his frozen head on Bourbon Street in the middle of summer.   



I was never crazy about my daughter watching Disney films, it wasn't an evangelical Christian thing as much as almost all of the plots are so negative. Stories about princesses. The underlying messages for young girls is "Look hot, disobey your parents and some rich guy will marry you." Sorry Walt, I know my daughter is capable of being much more than a trophy wife for some inbred member of nobility. Most everybody who doesn't have even a half of a brain will be quick to defend the Disney empire by exclaiming "Oh, it's so family friendly." Is it? Are you serious? Yea, family friendly where most of the stories begin with the mother being dead. A child's absolute worst nightmare is the opening premise for most Disney plots.

 Bellow are only some of his "Family Friendly Cartoons." I had to look up the plots on line, they all seem to have common themes.

•  1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: Both real parents dead, raised by a sadistic step mother who wants to kill her. She runs away and shacks up with seven strangers. The seven dwarfs track down and kill the stepmother, later Snow White is awaken by a prince who is trying to have sex with her unconscious body, she marries him.

• 1940 – Pinocchio: No parents, created by a creepy old man and the occult.

• 1941 - Dumbo: No father, mother is thrown in jail for her violent temper, humans are bad.

• 1942 – Bambi: Mother shot and killed in front of child, humans are bad.

• 1950 – Cinderella: Mother is dead, father dies later. Girl is raised by a dysfunctional step family. She gets “saved” by a wealthy man with a foot fetish because she looks hot.

• 1951 - Alice in Wonderland: Real life is boring, do drugs.

• 1953 - Peter Pan: Parents are assholes, run away from home.

• 1959 - Sleeping Beauty: Again, hot young woman, date rape drugs and wealthy men.

• 1967 - The Jungle Book: An orphan is raised by wild animals, humans are bad.

• 1981 - The Fox and the Hound: Orphaned Fox, humans are bad, yadda yadda…

• 1988 - Oliver & Company: Orphaned kitten in the big city, not too manipulative.

• 1989 - The Little Mermaid: Asshole father, Hot Princess daughter and the occult

• 1991- Beauty and the Beast: Dead mother, idiot father, and the occult. Hot daughter runs away with an ugly man who has money.

• 1992 – Aladdin: Dead mother, idiot father, and the occult. Hot Princess daughter runs away with a good looking man who is a thief and a liar.

• 1994 - The Lion King: Father gets killed by the uncle, son runs away and lives with deadbeats.

• 1995 – Pocahontas: Hot Princess daughter, asshole father, she disobeys him and lives happily ever after.

• 1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Mother murdered, non occult religion bad.

• 1999 – Tarzan: Both parents dead, humans bad.

• 2002 - Lilo & Stitch: More dead parents, aliens are good.

• 2003 - Finding Nemo: Mother and siblings all killed, raised by an idiot father, humans are bad.

I pretty much stopped my research at this point. I was numb with disbelief that these people make billions annually. I know nothing about what they have done with live action films and in television since I have avoided film and television industry for over a decade. I really don't want to waste anymore time looking into it. These are the same people that created the atrocity known as Hannah Montana, right? That kind of sums up how the corporation views little girls. Today's princess is tomorrow's stripper. (With an idiot father)

Perhaps some may be offended by my observations of America's greatest entertainment mogul, too bad. I am sure that they are the same people who eat McDonalds twice a week, always have at least two liters of Coke-Cola in the fridge, wear Nike sneakers and visit the "Magic Kingdom" every single year because there is no other place on Earth worthy of traveling to. Enough said.

 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

HELP WANTED

VOICE ACTORS NEEDED

Otis and I have been kicking around a couple of ideas for a while. Recent free time and moments of panic have convinced us to go ahead full throttle on our animation project "Life of a Quarter Rat."  We want everything to be lined up when the light turns green. We are going to need professional voice actors. Looking for those with comedic abilities, improvisational skills and multiple voices.


PAID

It's in the budget. None of this Craiglist bullshit where some one wants you to give your talent and labor on their project with only a vague promise a full time gig. This animation project was first conceived and started back in 2005, it's not just something flung together based on an bar room idea.


Quarter Rat Animation needs talented, funny and versatile local actors to get paid for one possibly two days in the studio. This is our pilot episode. Professionals who will be there when expected or better have very good reasons if they aren't. Not looking for cartoon voices, but animated. If you know the differance contact us. No more than 5 or 6 actors will be needed, fewer if we find the right people.  Pay bumps for the ability to do multiple voices.

If interested contact us at the above E-mail address, and we'll send you some character monologues to audition with. Or just send your own audition track (MP3 or something easily opened) with what you can do, resume, and do we really have to say this? No head shots.


Thursday, July 26, 2012

What I learned today

Otis,

Ya asked me how it was going test driving animation software. I figured out this much today. This sh#t is easier than it looks. I want to see and play with some more software before deciding on which one to use.


I got to get me some sleep, after I finish my last energy drink. Let me know what ya think.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

all the news that fits, we print



I've been in a funk the last few weeks. House painting work is hit or miss lately. I'll start a project, historic society facists bring the job to a halt. Line up something else and have to wait on materials. Lots of work to do for the magazine this month, but as always Otis and I will wait until 48 hours before we go to print before we ask ourselves "What the fuck are we going to do this month?" We are dysfunctional rats who can't really meet our full potential unless it's a crisis.  Panic, fear and eviction notices get the creative juices flowing. 

I shuffled across Toulouse to Molly's for the editorial meeting with Otis. Pondering such journalistic ponders as "Is it too soon for dead stripper stories?' or 'Who is the next convention in town that we can mock and ridicule?" Like Time magazine editors didn't go out drinking for an editorial meeting one day to a strip club and decide to have a hot milf getting her tit sucked on by an eight year old boy on the next cover. I bet they laughed their asses off and someone said "I dare you." I know we are only the Quarter Rat, Time magazine probably have twice as many readers than us. But our readers re-read every page at least three times. I've had readers start to quote their favorite story from the Quarter Rat to me. Once I interupted asking "What the fuck are you talking about? What? Oh yea I guess I did write that. I hope you didn't actually try it, I made it up."

Towards the close of the meeting we looked outside to see a local getting arrested again in the same spot he got arrested last month. For the same thing. Perhaps you know him, "Mr Kick-my-ass-for-$1" I mean, what exactly is your business model? Last month during your grand opening, you made one dollar and went to jail. 30 days later you get out, make a new sign and hope to make a new start? You had a fucking month to come up with a better hustle. He did revise his sign from last month. Instead of "KICK MY ASS $1" It read "Kick ME IN my ass $1"  That little type-o might have been the source of the problem last time. I mean that's a great deal, but one kick in the ass for a dollar is much more reasonable. I guess since he doesn't have a vendors license is why the cops hassle him. If he got away with it, soon the crackheads would be out there by the dozens holding hand scrawled signs that say "Fuck me in my ass $10"  I don't much like cops, but every now and then you don't mind seeing them crack the head of a stupid person. "Muthafuck me $1" you might get away with.



We didn't see any cops bust his head tonight, in all likelihood they waited until they got him down to booking.  Too many cameras that close to Bourbon Street. Although I think a few on Toulouse would have cheered. but there is always the one person with a camera phone who has to try and save the world from fascism. If Christ were crucified today he would be a YOUTUBE sensation. Pilot would be holding press conferences promising transparency and a thorough investigation. A few low level Roman soldiers would be tossed to the lions, and there would be a TV mini series, the end. 

We looked across the street to see mounted NOPD riding up one at a time, like the four horseman of the Apocalypse but in no particular hurry. Behold, I see the pale horse radio it in.  Soon our misadventure capitalist is in cuffs. Probably the same pair clicked on last month. It sucks being busted, I feel for anyone standing in front of blue strobes and the world rubbernecks at you expense. There is a reason it takes so long for a cop to run your I.D. or write you out a ticket. They want to make an example of you. Remind the fifty cars that drove by gawking over the past twenty minutes who is in charge.  I'm sure it's a union thing too.

You get a sick to your gut feeling as your arms are cuffed behind you and a gloved hand is pushing you by the top of your skull into a backseat.  That's the time you quickly realize that you had better get your shit together fast. If you don't, your night will defiantly go from bad to worse. Booking is always a buzz kill. The perp walk in the French Quarter is more like a second line parade minus the band. What did you think? The cops put him on the back of a horse? No. Handcuffed he was led down Toulouse, a right on Royal Street walking between four mounted cops.  Tourists quickly tried to catch it on cell phones. Poor guy was stepping in horse shit the entire three blocks to the 8th.  

After the amusement turned the corner, myself and another patron returned inside. Otis asked if 'kickmyass guy' got busted, I said yea. As I finished my PBR again Otis asked "What have we got to write about?" I shrugged "Dunno, nothing really stands out anymore."







Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter Special

I have had people tell me "Oh you shouldn't publish your scripts on the internet, someone might steal them..." Well, once it appears on the web it's considered "Published Material" and therefore becomes copy written automatically. Besides if some one steals this one script idea, fine. I have hundreds more in my head and they obviously have none.

Thinking about animated series, I noticed they all do Holiday episodes. Charlie Brown has Christmas, Simpsons have Halloween, what's left? There hasn't been a good Easter cartoon since Davy and Goliath went off the air. This script is kind of like that.


"J.H.C."
Quarter Rat Easter Script



Starts with a sunrise service of a guy dressed as "The DUDE Lebowski" delivering the sermon on the mound speech on the river levee in the Quarter. Large group watching, including Lance, Jody and Binge. Everyone has cups and joints.


After the service the part take in the "Homeless Easter Egg Hunt" Everyone leaves money in brightly colored eggs around the Quarter for the homeless to find. Of course Binge drops his in disgusting places to be mean. Later it turns out he needs money quick or he's going to get his ass kicked. In desperation he is forced to dig through donkey crap, reach into urnials, and empty a soiled condom in order to cover his debt. The Dude keeps popping up with words about karma.

Leaving the hunt, Lance and Jody start to discuss brunch plans as the walk down the sidewalk.  Ahead of them is a diner. Suddenly the windows explode from gun fire.
Lance
I love the omelets at this place. Last time...

SFX
Pop pop pop
Glass shattering,
voices yelling angrily.

Lance pushes Jody between two parked SUVs,
shields her as he does.
Cut to the two between vehicles.

SFX
More shots, 
yells.

Lance
Ok, the diner is out. Where do you want to go?

SFX
Automatic gunfire burst

Jody
Frenchman sounds good right about now...

Lance
Frenchman? That's too far. How about some wings at "Daddy's Little Girl?"

Jody
You have got to be kidding?It is Easter Morning,
I am not going to a strip club for chicken wings. Try again big spender.

SFX Police sirens, horses galloping,
helicopters circling, bullhorns of cops
yelling DROP THE WEAPON
plays in the background of this
mundane conversation of a couple.


Lance
You know you love their hot wings and Bloody Maries.
Think about it, it will be the only place in the Quarter this morning not swamped by loud families
with out of control kids that you despise and always end up ruining your dining experience.

Jody
And you want to look at boobies on Easter.

Lance
They have them painted as Easter eggs.

The two return to the sidewalk as gurneys are pushed past by EMS.

Cut to the interior of "Daddy's Lil Girl" club.
Both Lance and Jody have a huge plate of
wings and six Bloody Marys in front of them.

Lance
And three for one drinks.

Jody
(eating) These wings should have been at the last supper....

Dancers walk around with boobs painted like
brightly colored Easter eggs and bunny ears.
Jody rolls her eyes in disdain. Lance smirks.

A skinny, goofy dancer with bunny ears
and HUGE bucked teeth hops up to Jody.

Goofy dancer
Having fun? Enjoying your Easter?

Jody looks up, bursts out with stoned laughing.
Points to goofy dancer.


Jody
I LOVE the fake teeth. Totally works, Lance give her a dollar just for the extra effort in her bunny costume....


A shocked, hurt and tearful dancer looks
at Jody as her trembling hand removes the ears.
Tears roll down her cheeks.



Goofy Dancer
Just the ears and the boobs are fake. These are my real teeth... (Bursts into crying)



Dancer scurries off.
Jody sits there dumbfounded in embarrassment.



Lance
Damn girl, why ya such a hater?

Jody
OH MY GAWD! I did not mean that! I thought she was wearing those fake goofy teeth from the Mardi Gras Depot.
I never would have believed that a human could grow such appendages. Never in a million years would I ever...

Lance
You just hate her because she's skinny with fake boobs. Admit it.
You saw her flaw and you zeroed in on it to rip her apart.

Jody
I did not! I was complimenting her efforts in a costume...

Lance
Let me bring Zoey over here so you can make fun of her big nose.
Or lets wait for Daisey to take the stage with her club foot....
Ya know, these dancers are people too, they have feelings.
They are not just pieces of meat for you to inspect and criticize...

Jody
Stop it! I feel so bad right now. I made a dancer cry on Easter, I am going to hell.

Lance
Jesus died for dancers too. I read on line they had BRONZE poles back then.

Goofy Dancer is sobbing in the background.
Second Dancer Zoey scurries over to Goofy
and comforts her.

Jody
I feel so bad right now...

Zoey
What happened?

Goofy Dancer
The fat bitch made fun of my teeth!

Both dancers scowl at Jody.

Jody
Never mind, I don't feel so bad right now.



Twinkles the dancer comes up to Lance.
She is wearing a white toga and a tinsel
"Crown of thorns."

Twinkles
Hey Lancey Pants! Going to stick around for our Easter Show? I play Hey Zeus!

Jody
Oh gawd! Could today get anymore blasphemous?

Twinkles
We have a cross thingy on stage and Athena will be playing a Roman Soldier....

Jody
Answers that question.

Athena walks up dressed as a sexy Roman soldier / Dominatrix.

Athena
Oh Hi Lance and what her name. Have you seen the Binge?
Tell him that I miss my play toy and I want to model some new outfits for him.

Lance
What's the real reason?

Athena
(Abruptly angry, not seductive)
That sorry piece of dried DNA borrowed two hundred from me and hasn't paid me back yet.
Can you believe that I got taken by that wad of stupidity?
I mean if I let it slide and word got out, I'd have everyman in the Quarter owing me money.
That would be hundreds of men thinking that they can take advantage of innocent women. Tell Binge I'm looking for him.

Jody
We know. He's a jerk.

Lance
So, now you're attacking my friends now?

Athena
How dare you talk crap about one of the men who love me?


Lance
Tell me about it. She's been like this all morning. She even made fun of Zoey's nose.

Jody
I did not make fun of that dancer's huge nose...

Jody turns to see Zoey standing behind her.
Jody cringes.

Zoey
Gawd Lance! What do you see in this bitch?

Lance
Starting ask myself that today too....


Twinkles
Promise you'll stay for the show? I'll wave to ya from the wooden thingy.

Lance
Of course I promise.

They pinky promise.

Twinkles and Athena start to exit

Athena
I think I left my flog in the VIP room last night...


Jody starts to stand

Jody
Can we go now?

Lance
(turning to the crowd)
Hey everybody, she got drunk, embarrassed herself, now she wants me to break a pinky promise with Twinkles....

Group
Booooo!


Jody sits in humiliation.
Binge flops down besides her.

Binge
Hey guys! Sure I'll join you.
(to bartender) Yea Bonnie, three of my usual, on his tab. What's new?

Lance
Well, I'm just trying to celebrate the most important and holiest Christian holiday, but Jody has ruined it by insulting all of the dancers.
You always ask why she has no hot single friends to hook you up with. She has none, this is why other women hate her so much.

Binge
Did she make fun of Daisy's foot? (disgust) Of all days too.
This day is not about hate, we honor the death and erection of our Lord and Taylor.
But haters must hate. I told you dude, you never see this side of them until after you marry them.
You take her out for a traditional Easter morning breakfast and she starts calling Daisy "Hoof-Foot"

Daisy
(Walking up) WHO called me "Hoof - foot?"


Binge
She did.

Daisey
Better hope I don't follow you into the ladies room.
You'll get a hoof up the ass...

Jody
But I DIDN'T!

Daisey
You know, I dance in front of hundreds of men a day. They never mention it.
Men like Binge are sensitive towards women feelings.
I don't know such a sweet man could be friends with such a witch.


Binge
I'm starting to ask myself that too lately sweetheart.

Bonnie the bartender over hears
conversation as she's bringing Binge his drinks.

Bonnie
Gingers have no souls...

Jody is furious by this point how everyone is attacking
her for something she didn't mean. She snaps at Bonnie.

Jody
At least my hair and boobs are real!

Dead silence falls over the club.
Music stops, lights stop blinking.
Dancer stops mid slide, everyone
stares shocked at Jody.

Bonnie
(enraged and in tears)
OH RUB IT IN!

Bonnie rips off her wig to show a shaved head.

Bonnie
I had hair as beautiful as yours until I lost it FROM CHEMO!

Jody's jaw drops.

Bonnie
(shot from back)
You want to know for what?

Rips open her blouse and two falsies pop out,
Binge catches one holds it up like a prize.

Bonnie
BREAST CANCER!

Binge and Lance slide down each direction away from Jody.
Pretend they don't know her.
Lance takes off his wedding ring and slips it into his pocket.

Jody starts to convulse, beet red, eyes tearing up, trembling.

Bonnie's falsey slides down the bar from Binge,
stops in front of Jody. She looks down,
Binge drew a sad face crying on it.

Lance
Oh, that reminds me, man... you better get out of here. A woman you love wants to kill you.

Binge
Can you be a little more specific?

Suddenly a Roman spear flies past all three and sticks in the wall.

Binge
Athena?

Monday, February 27, 2012

the scrap bin

I have been showing you the artwork for the proposed animation project. We have been doing an equal part writing that you haven't seen yet. Each script runs about 23 minutes. So far we have a solid dozen 1/2 hour scripts written with another season's worth bouncing around in my noodle. This idea for an episode came from my constant chronic viewing on line of news and YOUTUBE videos. A 2012 end of the world type of story line. Dark and macabre to say the least.

You won't be getting an animated series of Star Wars parodies or constant references to pop culture with our show. How would one work the end of the world into a season? It struck me, make it the very first episode. The second episode would start of "THREE YEARS EARLIER."





 LAST EPISODE FIRST

Binge walks up Bourbon St towards Polly's Pub.
Cut to inside. A customer is flailing about holding
his one hand and screaming in pain.
Brutal is shaking a heavy beer mug motioning towards the door.
BRUTAL
GO ON! If you come back here with da cops I'll break your other nine in front of them you ASSHOLE!

The crying customer staggers out the door as Binge
comes whistling in the other. Binge sits down.
Brutal calmly speaks as if nothing had happened.

BRUTAL
Ah Binge, thank you.

BINGE
What for?

BRUTAL
You just upped my averages up for the Night.

BINGE
Howso?

BRUTAL
Now it's TWO assholes per hour. What can I getchya?

BINGE
Just a shot of the usual.

BRUTAL
Ya knows da rule for you. Pay up first, then I pour da shot.

BINGE
Brutal, I am deeply offended my friend, hurt.
Why such unfounded paranoia in the quality of my understood personality , my character?

BRUTAL
You are an Asshole.

BINGE
Ouch, that hurt a lot. Which is what I had to say to Athena last night.
Want to hear what happened the other night at her place?

BRUTAL
Yea? Sure...

As Binge goes into the following monologue
Brutal starts absently minded reaches for a
bottle and slowly looking at Binge banter on with his story.


BINGE
So as soon as I get over there, I know there is some big drama going on. She found a gun in her bedroom and she knows it's not hers. What she going to do? Call every guy she ever slept with in the past  two weeks who carried a gun? That could take days and tip off some big gang war or something. I'm like hey? Why is this my problem? She takes off her robe and promises me that if I help her she will hump my brains out. A guy who looks like me will say what the hell, I'm in. So I asked where is it? She says the bedroom, and she keeps it so damn dark all the time, except when she filming something. "It's in there" It's dark, everything she has in that room looks like a stinking weapon. I ask "Can you be a little more specific?" She yells "Between the ATM machine and the soiled condom bucket!" AS I put on my rubber gloves I think to myself "And yet, I love her.....

With that note, Binge downs the poured shot and smiles.



BINGE
Thanks a lot Brutal, see ya tomorrow.

Binge starts to exits

BRUTAL
BINGE!

Binge stops, thinks he's busted.

BRUTAL
Binge, whatcha do with the gun?

A relieved Binge continues.

BINGE
So I figured the best thing to do is just ditch it
 This thing could be hotter than hell. I decided to take the ferry to the West Bank
and drop it in the middle of the river. Can I get another shot? Remember the news last week?

BRUTAL
You mean the terrorist attack on the Algiers Ferry that triggered World War Three?
 I think I heard about something like that on the news.
That and the Saints won again. You was there?

BINGE
Dude, I caused it.


Cut to Binge on deck of Algiers ferry. Nice day, decks are packed with cars.
Binge tries to causally pull gun from his waistband to drop the weapon
over the rail. Out of no where a Pelican swoops into him causing him to
drop the gun. It hits metal deck and goes off striking a car.

Before the first shot is fired cut to the back of ferry where a
nerdy liberal is boasting about his eco-friendly car.

LIBERAL
Mine is more Eco Friendly that yours. Mine runs on Hydrogen Gas.

Just then his car gets struck triggers a massive explosion.
Cut to ferry going up like the movie DeJa View.


Fireball rip across ferry, Binge dives on deck.
Everyone else hits the decks.
Binge lies face down on the deck as shrapnel
ricochets about him.

He looks up and see the gun he dropped lying in front of him.
Binge stares ta his gun, flings his arm striking the pistol.
It slides towards the edge of the deck, but doesn't fall into the water.
Binge grimaces. Then another car explodes, knocking the pistol,
knocking it into the water.

As Binge is exiting the ferry, police, fireman, and EMT workers, feds
are waiting. Binge pushes past the emergency workers, his back is on flames..

BINGE
No, thank you. I'm fine, really. No I don't want to go to the hospital.
No, I'm fine, I was already on fire when I got aboard in Algiers. Thanks anyway.

Cut back to Polly's

BRUTAL
Wait, you said she has a soiled condom bucket in her bedroom next to an ATM machine?

BINGE
Huh? Yea, one condom bucket in the bedroom and another bucket with ducks on it in the bathroom.
I know because it's somehow my job to empty them twice a week.
Can I get another shot? Thanks. You interrupted my story.

Mesmerized, Brutal pours the third shot.
Binge downs it, darts for the door.

Brutal is grinning thinking about Binge's story.
He suddenly comes to the realization that Binge didn't pay.
Grin turns into a grimace.
 
 

(ONE WEEK EARLIER)
Lance and Jody's house.
They are just chilling in the living room, stoned and
munching out in front of the TV. Local news interrupts
with helicopter footage of smoldering ferry.
News caster is reporting in a hurried voice.
SUPER HOT NEWS ANCHOR
Details are still coming in. Possible Iranian terrorist strike on a passenger ferry in New Orleans.
Our government has placed us in a state of emergency at the highest possible levels.
The president is scheduled to speak momentarily. The latest account is...

With that Binge bursts in smoldering.
He instantly grabs the remote and clicks off the TV.
 

BINGE
Hey guys, let's play cards.


JODY
Oh, my god! Were you there?

BINGE (not really knowing the news.)
Well, yea kind of. But it was not entirely my fault, ya see there was this Pelican that
came out no where after I found the gun in the soiled condom bucket at Athena's.

Confused, Lance reaches for the Remote.
Clicks on the Television.
A panicked trying to remain calm anchor continues.


SUPER HOT NEWS ANCHOR
...the first waves of Israel fighters and bombers have reached their target.
Their president keeping his vows of defending Israels allies. We now go to  our corespondent in the middle east.

LANCE
AW DUDE! You fucked up big time.

JODY
Niiiiiiiice. You wanted to bang the Whore of Babylon, and the whole world has to suffer Armageddon.
Nice going asshole.

BINGE
But, it was the Pelican. There's one mentioned in the book of Revelations, Google it.

LANCE
I can't believe you triggered world war three.
What were you thinking?

BINGE
I was trying to get laid. You're a guy, you understand...

JODY
Lance, don't you ever dare to rag on MY FRIENDS again..


Cut to several days later.
All three sitting in same spots.
Empty food containers and snack bags surround them.
SUPER HOT NEWS ANCHOR (very somber)
So far that has brought the number of Nuclear detonation to a total of four.
We have been reporting for the last twenty four hours of mass suicides amongst cult members from around the world.
There has just been another in Norway of fourteen thousand who jumped into a Fjord.
Authorities in Norway announce a spiral light...

HOLD ON, we have another incoming report coming in of a
possible nuclear detonation that would bring the total of five in
what is being named "the shot that ended the world. "


JODY
Well, was she worth it?

Binge looks to Lance and grins ear to ear.
Nods. Lance looks back, stoned and laughs.

Jody Huffs

BINGE
Look, there was a pelican I told you...

JODY
Which one of the Four Pelicans of the Apocalypse was this?
LO! In the end times there shall be a pelican and a stripper
walking downeth Bourbon Street. They shall encounter the town idiot...

LANCE
That would be you dude.




I stopped writing it there, I figured no way would it ever make it past the producers. Some funny bits in it, so rather than to never have it heard I thought I would post it in this blog.
Don't worry, the other episodes are a little more up beat.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Hey, I know that place....

Here is some background art to the animation that I am working on. Originally I was just going to do just a minute or so of very rough animation to demonstrate the look of the show. Of course it soon evolved into a four minute cartoon of continuous sight gags. Since we are still somewhat up in the air as far as the voice actors and sound production, we had to deliver on the visuals. The cartoon kind of plays out like the Old "Pink Panther" cartoons.  Our protangonist just trying to walk from one end of Bourbon Street to the other.

As you can tell, we are trying to put as much local flavor and characters into the show. Not just for those who live here, but so somewhere one of the tens of millions visitors who have spent time in the French Quarter will point to the screen and say "I've seen that."
I have a greater appreciation for the labor involved in animation. One scene Otis and I included needed a galloping police horse complete with a mounted cop firing his weapon. Just the horse and gallop took me about 6 - 8 hours to complete.  If that wasn't enough we added a swinging brass band, a running Baron Somalia, SWAT teams, gun battles and a huge chaotic finale. John Landis would find this final scene a challenge to direct. 

I am limited with the software that I have at my disposal. Photoshop and I-Movie is about all that I have to work with right now. The purpose of this short is to create interest for future funding of the 23 minute pilot. We have at least a dozen scripts written, and when Otis and I team up with the proper motivation, plots and punch lines come faster than we can write them down.

Here is one of the locations in the story line, a Bourbon Street strip club named "Barely Sane." The romantic interest of the lead character works there. Athena DeCruelle, B-movie actress turn fetish model, turned dancer and dominatrix. Don't expect a dumb bimbo type of lady. Athena  is a shrewd, manipulative and brilliant woman of Bourbon Street. Granted, she's sleeping around with about half of the men in the French Quarter, but only one man truly loves her, this is his story. I won't make any promises on a delivery date for the finished product, I won't debut it until it's ready. Someday I may have to face deadlines, hopefully by then we'll have a budget and a staff to yell at.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Preview of a preview preview...

Here's a short video that I  started and won't finish. I was working on for 2011. My editor called mid way through this and stressed the urgency for a short color "trailer" demonstrate what we are capable of doing. We are in the process of finding funding for the pilot episode, so a slick short demo of show was in order. Until an angel drops a warm wad of cash in our laps, I am challenged as to what kind of animation I can do with my limited resources. Working only with Photoshop and Imovie, this really stretches and tests my creative abilities. 



This video is a parody of Frank Miller's SIN CITY. I love his work and wanted to see what my characters and backgrounds would look like borrowing his style. My editor loved it, and we may work the style sparingly into our project. The 4 minute color trailer that I am now working on will be more in the vein of a Pink Panther story line.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolution

 

We at the Quarter Rat really have to get cracking on this animation project if we ever hope to get it into production. Otis and myself have day jobs, well his day job is at night. Plus he has a family to look after. So I decided from here on out to devote at least two hours a night to making this a reality. Here is the first part of many many steps to our ultimate goal. I'll periodically post anything new as it comes along.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Location, location, location

 We are in the early production of our animated series "Quarter Rats." I'm working on some of the background art and have been scouting locations and buildings for our characters. I hope to capture the beauty and grittiness of the French Quarter so much that those who have never been here will feel like they have, and for those of us familiar with it I want to be able to point and say "Hey, that's the corner of so and so!"

The main character BiNGE will live in a run down apartment building on the 1100 block of Bourbon, his friends Lance and Jody will have a neat Creole cottage on Gov Nichols.  Bars and clubs will look vaguely similar to those we pass everyday on Bourbon Street.

I never met a dame yet that didn't know if she was good-looking or not without being told, and there's some of them that give themselves credit for more than they've got. 
Stanley Kowalski

The leading lady of romantic interest is Athena DeCruelle.  A former aspiring high fashion model turned B movie actress, turned exotic dancer, turned professional dominatrix is a lady of style and class. I have written several scenes between her and BiNGE as a wink to Tennessee Williams. Of course I had to include a winding street front staircase for and future Stella and Stanley like exchanges. Surprisingly, there are not a lot of staircases on the exterior facades in the French Quarter.

The location that I chose for Athena 's apartment is actually just a few doors down from where Mr. Williams was living when he wrote "Streetcar named Desire,"  at 632 St Peters.

BiNGE and Athena have a very dysfunctional relationship. Athena is the abusive and manipulative partner.  When the man is abusive, it's a drama. When the woman is the abuser,  it's a comedy.



Being a lady of elegance, her place had to be just right. I combed the Quarter scouting locations and stumbled upon hers on my way to work. Across from that famous little alley connecting Pirate's Alley to St Peters it seemed perfect. Just a stone's throw from Jackson Square it should provide some great visuals.  Called the David Victor house built in 1838, it houses the Le Petit Salon Ladies Literary Group.  I don't think they will object if I place a coked up dominatrix in there as a resident.

Take a look at yourself here in a worn-out Mardi Gras outfit, rented for 50 cents from some rag-picker. And with a crazy crown on. Now what kind of a queen do you think you are? Do you know that I've been on to you from the start, and not once did you pull the wool over this boy's eyes! You come in here and you sprinkle the place with powder and you spray perfume and you stick a paper lantern over the light bulb - and, lo and behold, the place has turned to Egypt and you are the Queen of the Nile, sitting on your throne, swilling down my liquor.
Stanley to Blanche, Scene 10







Scene: Night time, exterior of Athena's apartment.
A very drunk BiNGE staggers up the deserted street
and stands under her balcony by a gas street light.
In a very Stanley Kowalski fashion starts to yell her name.

Binge
Athenaaaaaa, Athenaaaaa!

Interior of Athena's posh apartment:
She is on a computer and hears the annoying
drunken BiNGE calling her name outside.
She scowls and tries to ignore him. 

Binge (off screen)
Athenaaaaaaa!

Nieghbor
SHUT UP YOU ASSWIPE!

Binge
Look! I want my gurl down here! Athena!

Athena, perturbed gets up and goes off screen.
An startled cat is heard meowing.


Back on street, Binge looking up.


Binge
Athenaaaaaa, Athenaaaaa!

Athena appears on balcony holding a
box of cat litter, she dumps it on Binge mid yell.
Binge
Athen... (Cough)


 He doesn't know it yet, but Nic Cage will be making a cameo appearance in the show....

Friday, October 28, 2011

Coming soon...




Not to jinx it, but we are in the early stages of production on a Quarter Rat animation project. Long writing meetings, and countless E-mails back and forth fine tuning and polishing of scripts have brought us closer to ultimate goal, to be filthy stupid rich. I told Otis that all I wanted out of this was enough money to send my kid to college and maybe a little to get started on. Otis replied "Hell no, I want us to make so much fuckin money that our kids never have to go to college or even have to work." Now that is a goal. 
I'll be posting some of the artwork on this blog, as well as some updates and ideas. You might have guessed that the French Quarter will be the location, in many ways the focus. The unique characters and situations that could only be found here are an endless resource for humor. The daily hustle to survive without getting stepped on in the chaos that we call home.  The feeling as we crash on our couches as the sun comes up and think "That was fun." The show won't be based on the worn out dysfunctional family premise, it's based on friendships and addictions. Every character has his or hers.  Bartenders, club managers and dancers from Bourbon Street, artists, psychics and crackheads from Jackson Square make up the ensemble as viewed from the perspective of a large streetwise rat named Otis B. Easy.
Here is some of the early background art, I hope that we can do the French Quarter justice in representing the beauty and grittiness of both the city and it's residents.